Ok Guys Im seriously trying to post atleast once a week

I AM dEPRESSED

I'll give you guys the short version atleast i'll try.

Ok I've known this guy jerry for a while but we just became real friends this school year. Im a junior he's a senior. Ever since November we got real close though like i can honestly say hes my bestfriend(well im not to sure now). We really opened up to each other and hes had so many tragedies in his life i just want to be there for him. Well somewhere in that we started having sex. And yea i know im dumb for that cause sex complicates everything. I didn't really like him more than a friend before the sex but after little by little i started to get hooked & now i can say i really do like him.The sex is something special though like AMAZING LOL but then again i only had 2 partners and it was almost 2 years since i had sex. But moving on i know he likes me too but idk lately he's been going mia. Jerry does have an ex girlfriend though, they've been together for 4years so i know theres feelings there.

Honestly im not even asking for a relationship from him cause im not the relationship kinda girl all i really want is my bestfriend back, the jerry i used to know. We don't even have to have sex kiss or anything thats how real it is. We use to hang out everyday but now i barely see him and we barely talk.
I tried to cut him off so many times and when i confronted him with my feelings he told me hes been going through a lot and hes not purposly avoiding me blah blah its a really big essay lol that i still have saved on my phone. That showed me he really does care or else he wouldnt have bothered to write it SO WHY DOESNT HE ACT LIKE IT

i swear im doomed to live alone. i give myself to people so easily. im too nice and im weak. i want to be strong but i dont know how, im hopeless.


ughhh off to sleep to cry as usual

I think im really coming back this time lol

ok right now im really feeling shitty so im going to be here a lot more now

why am i feeling so shitty?

so i think most people has felt the feeling of being dumped by a bestfriend or a loved one i guess. the thing that really gets to me is being able to be replaced so easily. right now me and my bestfriend..(we'll see if we stay besties) are having a rough patch.

I feel like everything about her annoys me!!

i feel like shes so obsessed with being popular and hanging out with new people shes forgeting about me. im not the jealous type so i dont mind her hangin out with other people cause so am i but even if we hang out with other peopleee she shouldn't walk past me in the hallways..or not even invite me to hang out with her anymore.

Ive done so much for this girl and i feel like im getting the short end of the stick because i feel like i dont get that back from her. she feels as if shes a very good friend to me but i beg to differ. idk we'll just have to wait and see how things go.

Another thing i confronted her about it and i told her hey like your having out with (lets call her Xe) Xe all day everyday and you never invite me and shes all like fine when i hang out with Xe you can come too. like wtf bitch im supposely your bestie that means im wifey honey...oh i can come too shut the fuck up
UGHHHHHHH im done

Been a long time..

I'm back bitches lol. Birthday recently passed so now I'm 16 years young. Today I need to get hater bitches off my chest.

I dont understand why girls always have to be caddy with one another. I see this alot especially now since I'm currently in highschool, I might see it more than others.

Everyday I walk down the hallways there is atleast one girl giving me a dirty look or looking me up and down..typical stuff. I'm guilty of it too. Sometimes I find myself automatically giving someone a dirty look even tho I don't mean it. That's why some people assume I'm mean from 1st glance but I'm really not. I'm trying to be more smiley now =]

Or even at the mall. One time I went to the mall with my bestfriend and I swear to god it was like we had signs on our backs saying stare at me..look us up and down..break your necks to look at us. Maybe we looked so damn good..haha just playing. But yea idk just wondering why things have to be the way they are

Girls are so competitive

As Peter would say " Things that Grinds My Gears"

Yea this might offend people..actually this will offend people, but hey if you feel the way i do let me know.

So what really grinds my gears

Something that really gets under my skin is fat people. Yes i said it ..fat people. I'm not talking about people who got a little extra cushion I'm talking about people who are 250+. Ok you have a gland problem..you get a free pass from me but other than that..no!. Oh and it really gets me irritated when people who are obese try and say shit like "big is beautiful", and "skinny bitches are ugly" or " I'm still healthy". Every time i hear these words I get enraged with anger. To me big is not beautiful, its disgusting and def. unhealthy. We are not suppose to have that much weight pressing down on us.


I don't like that when I'm walking down the street and guys are hollering all this crap. I mean yeah it feels good sometimes but other times it leaves me feeling uncomfertable.

Creepy older guys who try and get with me. I hate that shit, like that's def. something that will make my anger radar jump to a 10! Like one time I was at like a family party, this 30 year old asked me to dance so w.e i was like might as well. Wasn't dirty dancing or anything like that and it was a family event so i didn't worry. This 30 something year old creep asked me for my number and asked if we could meet up sometime!!. I politely said thanks for the dance ..bye. This guy was like " oh no I'm sorry did i say something wrong, please stay." Are you fucking kidding me!!
...ruined my whole fucking night

I hate fucked up "best friends" who leave you cuz they find new friends
yea..you guessed right. I had a best friend who fucked me over because she got a new friend. Didn't want to talk to me is so and so was around but if they weren't around she would come back to me...fuck that
kicked that bitch to the curb

yeahh this is all for now..i'll make a new one soon

Into.

hey to however may be reading this..so yeah let's get the basics down. I may not always use proper punctuation.. shoot me. Call me Saleisha. I'm 15, bored with life most of the time so I've decided to take up blogging. We'll see how long this will last.

umm let's see
I'm 5'2 about 130 pounds ..i would like to lose 15 pounds 115 would be my ideal weight to be at.
I'm black..we'll brown but you get the point. I have a good sense of humor at least to myself. I can be very judgemental but then again who isn't. Oh yea since im 15 that means i'm in highschool..sophomore for all you noisy people who want to know.

I love music =]. Kanye West is amazing, my number 1 artist in the game. Talk thrash about him and as stupid as it may sound I will not like you as much. I mean i'll still like you but it won't be the same as before.

I just recentaley started reading twilight like literally 3 days ago..finished the 1st book in 2 days, looking to read the 2nd. My best friend all ready gave me a summary of all the books so I know what's going to happen but it sounded so good I hade to read it for myself. Def. left me wanting more .

Well I told myself that I would keep this short but of course I didn't..anywho this was just an intro. the real ranting will start soon..like 5min soon=]